【阳光语思】要是

偶然发现一首在圣安大学图书楼门上的诗,颇感有趣。

原文:

If Only 

By Scottish poet Douglass Dunn

It was at a moment of Lambrettas

On Eastwoodmains Road, where I stood

Under a laburnum, waiting for her.

Rich kids revved on their machines

And I’d just finished work in the library.

It was 8 p.m. and the suburb glowed with prosperity.

I’d my raincoat over my arm and felt stupid

Not to be motorized or in tennis whites,

Earning £5 a week and working the late shift.

dust on the pavement mixed with

Dropped petals and litter. A bee buzzed

In my ear, a yellow interlude.

It was a moment of swallows and evening sunlight

On the Tennis Club roof, a moment

Populated by sports cars and resentment.

My mind was far gone in lyrical grudges

Drowning in leaf-music and panic—

‘What shall I do? What’s my future?’

And she ran towards me, hot from tennis.

I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy.

I’d expected to wait for ever

Or until a policeman ordered me away.

I think I’m still there, haunting a gutter.

If only I knew then what I still don’t know.

译文:

要是

那是一个属于踏板摩托车的瞬间,

在Eastwoodsmains路上,我站在

金链花树下,等着她。

富家子弟正坐在摩托车上准备加速狂飙,而我刚完成了在图书馆的工作。

那时晚上八点钟,郊区热闹非凡。

雨衣搭在胳膊上,更是没有摩托车和白色网球鞋,感觉很尴尬。

我挣着每星期五英镑的工资,上着夜班。

路面上的灰尘里混合着

掉落的花瓣和垃圾。一只蜜蜂

在我耳边嗡嗡叫,似一首黄色的插曲。

那是一个燕子飞在夕阳下的瞬间。

那是站在网球俱乐部屋顶上的,

一个满眼塞满跑车和怨恨的瞬间。

我的思绪早已被怨恨带走,

沉溺在沙沙飘下的落叶哀鸣中,

惶恐中我问——

我该做什么?我的未来会是什么样子?

随之她向我跑来,打网球后热气腾腾的她。

我不敢相信自己有多高兴。

我以为我会永远等下去

直到警察命令我离开。

我感觉自己还在那里,徘徊在排水沟里。

要是我那时懂得现在依然不懂得的道理就好了。

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